please don't mess
with my stuff
Disclaimer: If you don't like to read and / or are expecting a conventional biography, please leave this site immediatly.
My name is Juan Alcalá, a.k.a: Juancho, Juanito, Johnnyboy, Jack Stark, Jean le Tenace, Giovanni Castello, Johannes Schloss & Jan van der Burcht.
I came to this world at 566 above msl in a very hot, and flat environment, near an ash-coloured river. Inspired by this and as my very first birthday present, Never Mind The Bollocks Here's The Sex Pistols and Neil Young's Decade were simultaneously released in the UK & USA respectively. This will determine my rebellious nature. Meanwhile in London it was about 11:00h, clouded with showers, in Hong Kong police forces attacked the ICAC headquarters and the Dalai Lama was secretly eating his stash of Bündnerfleisch, whilst playing with his brand new Atari 2600.
Ever since I was born, I realized there was something wicked going on in this world, although I couldn’t pay much attention to this since as I had to fight back several scorpion attacks and was constantly beleaguered by rattlesnakes. Then the inevitable happened, I fell in love with the only blond female among them. After a few months together, she left town leaving a cloud of dust behind her.
One day when I was feeling very blue, I went out onto the street in front of our house. My older brother came outside and started mocking me, by which stage I got very angry, picked up an empty bottle of soda and smashed it on the sidewalk. One flying splinter of glass cut my lower lip and that was how I discovered Newton's third law of motion.
Life went by quite nicely within my loving family in a peaceful suburban neighbourhood. In a big house with a big garden around it, a mango tree and other tropical flora & fauna species, some dogs and birds, but no cats, a truce was reached with the scorpions, whom sporadically came into a few of the rooms but only to say ‘hi’.
The school years went by with huge success mixed up with my beatnik spirit. Nevertheless, I obtained a scholarship for university. Short before finishing high school I spotted a shark for the first time and had my first encounter with death. The result was a scar on one elbow and some sea urchins stuck to my back. Also in that period I survived a tropical storm named Bret. It was then time for me to reach higher grounds and leave a cloud of dust behind me. I began my architectural studies, not before being a model for some radio and tv publicity campaigns, surviving occasional gunshots and working as an intern in CONAC (the National Cultural Council). After four extraordinary educational years which included: taking part in some research projects, being awarded by local and international art & design exhibitions and playing in the university football and underwater hockey league (all of which I managed to combine with an internship as sous-chef in a nouvelle cuisine bistro).
I decided then to continue into adulthood breathing different air, so I moved to an old neighbourhood in another country with another language, where I managed to establish a close friendship with two ghosts, my neighbours: the chevalier Georges de Lydda and the sculptor Jean Baptiste Pigalle.
While pursuing my architectural studies, I drew nudes in the École de Beaux Arts, going every Wednesday evening to flirt for a few minutes alone with the Gioconda, as well as traveling across western Europe in a sort of modern architecture photographic pilgrimage. This included an outstanding incursion in Northern Africa. After conquering three continents, coaching Marco Pantani on how to properly climb on a road bike and commencing assembling the Sir Juan Alcalá Building Pieces Museumcollection, I decided it was about time to move back to my homeland and get my professional degree.
Ever since, I have practiced architecture in several countries and designed countless objects, climbed several mountains, recovered from breaking several bones, scuba dived in many seas, cooked many wonderful meals, ridden thousands of kilometers on twelve different bicycles (including three 'Eroica' winnings, two in Toscana and one in Spain), occasionally fished and hunted for survival purposes, conquered a fourth continent and extensively photographed my life.
Please consider that some of this information might be true, here you have a list of dates & countries where I
visited, lived, studied, worked;
1977-1999: Venezuela / Colombia / Brasil
1999-2001: France / England / Holland / Belgium / Luxemburg / USA / Germany / Austria / Denmark / Switzerland / Czech Republic / Spain / Andorra / Italy / Morocco
2001-2006: Venezuela / Brasil
2006-2008: Spain / Portugal / France / Italy / Germany
2009-2016: Germany / Austria / France / Italy / Spain / Portugal / Greece / Morocco / China / Thailand / Venezuela / Usa / Panama / Peru / Indonesia / Singapore / Iran
For education, professional experience, skills, etc: